If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. You will note that we made an important qualification. Thus we grow. Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow. Have we tried to make mortar without sand? In there he would find companionship and release. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). Asked why they commenced to drink again, they would reply with some silly excuse, or none. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - This is the Fourth Edition of the Big Book, the basic text for Alcoholics Anonymous. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I dont see what good itll do. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can-if he is not too alcoholic. If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work. The first 164 pages, we are told, is what we need to know and do in order to become well adjusted, contributing members of society; to overcome spiritual bankruptcy and to be happy, joyous, and free. Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. I was through forever. This is the how and why of it. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life-or else. The more you type, the more precise the results. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. This is all to the good. If this presents difficulty, re-reading chapters two and three, where the alcoholic sickness is discussed at length might be worth while. You will want to know more of how to proceed from that point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Any A.A. who has not experienced the joys and satisfaction of helping another alcoholic regain his place in life has not yet fully realized the complete benefits of this fellowship. (A.A. Broadcast in Self Help; Tue, May 6, 2014 10:00PM UTC Part 2. At this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, the illness. Yet we found it impossible. Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. They have recreational facilities. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. He may, for example, reveal that he has padded his expense account or that he has planned to take your best customers away from you. Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? The Doctors Opinion. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. Is it right to let him ruin your life and the lives of your children? While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word MUST. The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. In time we sailed for Over There. I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. You can see that he really does love you with his better self. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps. Nonsense. A certain American business man had ability, good sense, and high character. A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times, especially if he is married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him. Such a man would be crazy, wouldnt he? We suggested he write his first wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness. He had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences. The power of God goes deep! The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward Gods universe. There is every evidence that women regain their health as readily as men if they try our suggestions. When it made us cocky, it was worse. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering. If he opened that old affair, he was afraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood. A good personal image will ensure positive, lasting first impressions and can lea. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. I took a night law course, and obtained employment as investigator for a surety company. Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. What can we do about them? Not all of us join religious bodies, but most of us favor such memberships. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience. That was a hard thought. I had discharged him for drinking six weeks before. What are the first 164 pages of alcoholics? Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead. Everyone spent in thousands and chattered in millions. If he gets drunk, dont blame yourself. Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. Show him how they worked with you. Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not. But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else. To illustrate: The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed. (Click here to read them). But life was not easy for the two friends. This all happened years ago. (1939) The authorities were much concerned. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. There are such unfortunates. We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. We doubt if, in this respect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than other people. Father may have laid aside for years all normal activities- clubs, civic duties, sports. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. They knew they had a host of new friends; it seemed they had known these strangers always. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The process of one addict/alcoholic guiding another through the Book takes between 24 and 30 hours, usually done in 2 - 3 hour sessions, typically over a period of 2 - 3 weeks. But one of the friends said, "Put him in a private room. Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. There is company insurance. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. Sometimes he explodes over a trifle. This resulted in A.A.'s first group, at Akron, Ohio, in 1935. such cases was not so well understood as it is now. While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word 'MUST.'. She wanted to know if her husbands company insurance was still in force. In any event, try to have your husband read this book. I drink like that.. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. If a man drinks so much that his job suffers, we fire him. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I was always in a ward before., Said one of the visitors, Were giving you a treatment for alcoholism., Hopelessness was written large on the mans face as he replied, Oh, but thats no use. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. What had become of their judgment, their common sense, their will power? We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldnt control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldnt make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldnt seem to be of real help to other people was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight? But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. Childhood memories rose before me. You can see that he is mentally and physically sick. A blog dedicated to the discussion of the anonymous alcoholics program, as found in the twelve and twelve and first 164 pages of the great anonymous alcoholic book. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big bookaffidavit of death of joint tenant fresno county how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book Menu match the seafloor terms to their correct definitions. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. If he has your will power and guts, he will make the grade.. Six years ago one of our number was a patient there. I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing sixty-six hundred men. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come-I would drink again. Below are copies in various formats of the Big Book. The Loft Literary Center Minneapolis Mn, Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. We subjected each relation to this test- was it selfish or not? Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure. It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? After a bit, he said, The way you fellows put this spiritual stuff makes sense. He had plenty of money left and thought I had better go to Canada. He left us a note saying you were the best boss he ever had, and that you were not to blame in any way.. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink." BB PG 100-101. This all happened years ago. Edition/Shrine Big Twin motorcycle . This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. He is worried at times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. His call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town, who, though formerly able and respected, was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair. There was utter confidence. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it. And I did. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isnt the right kind. We could make few social engagements. This involves a process of deflation. Because there are no size constraints on the web site, fewer common words are needed.Common words are still used on the web site since some words are just not useful when researching the A.A. literature. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. We must not shrink at anything. I've been around AA for 18,years yet sober 4 but months and have heard of many suggestions however reading the first 164 pages of the big book has caused me to be curious, by no means am i disagreeing with this afterall the big book is the bible of AA therefore i have no problem at all, anyway can you please tell me how this came about because i know for a fact . If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens. Obviously. Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. We have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient. I stood in the sunlight at last. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. He should understand that emphatically. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. The word God, or a variant of Him, appears 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. We know women who have done it. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. Im afraid to go out the door. We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community. So he returned to this doctor, whom he admired, and asked him point-blank why he could not recover. Little by little, mother and children will see they ask too much, and father will see he gives too little. If you think he will be shy of a spiritual remedy, ask him to look at the chapter on alcoholism. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. So far as we are concerned, there is nothing obligatory about it. The answer depends on whether you only include the first 164 pages or the stories too. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. We had seen spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasnt true. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: "We realize we know only a little"). Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor, though it often remains strong in other respects. If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give? For years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration. How could she be anything else? Each individual should consult his own conscience. We are not theorizing. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. But if you cannot or will not stop drinking, I think you ought to resign.. In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it. He and his family can be a bright spot in such congregations. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Each in his turn may be footsore and may straggle. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldnt hurt me on a full stomach. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. He may be anything but that. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. He has hired and fired hundreds of men. Husbands and wives have sometimes been obliged to separate for a time until new perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be re-won. He becomes still less communicative. But all problems will not be solved at once. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the problem would hardly be scratched. The 164 and More web site. We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work. Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story? He is always more or less insanely drunk. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. We represent no particular faith or denomination. Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. How ridiculous would it be if people tried to do the same with the Big Book. To give up resistance: He finally capitulated and agreed to do the job my way. When it will serve any good purpose, we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense. My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. They will always materialize if we work for them. To us it is not far- fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. We landed in England. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. The process of one addict/alcoholic guiding another through the Book takes between 24 and 30 hours, usually done in 2 3 hour sessions, typically over a period of 2 3 weeks. Second Edition of the Big Book. Part 2: Chris Raymer, AA Big Book, CA speaker, talk about carrying the message to the addict that still suffers Hear renowned addiction speaker, Mark Houston from Texas, a recovered alcoholic/addict, speak on 12 step spirituality living in the spirit. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. Little clusters of twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities, through contact with our two larger centers. Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you. He might have a chance. The more you type, the more precise the results. Alcoholics are being attracted from far and near. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. When he renews interest in such things, a feeling of jealousy may arise. 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