My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. Thats weird, I thought. Do you take Discover? Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. 15-12-2021 2 2. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. Look dad, that star is glitching.We used to call that twinkling but ok. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. Emptying my kids' pockets: rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks, hey! Functioning is something everyone wants to do. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. . Dads, on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. My daughter is "OMG! 5 min read. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. 7YO: daddy if you could be any kitchen utensil what would you be?ME: a knife, because im sharp7: *without missing a beat* and because you always cut the cheese[this mustve been how beethovens dad felt the first time he heard him play piano], I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. You gotta start a new life someplace else. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. Im just finding this out. A. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. Funny tweets that. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? I'd be happy with 10 pounds! The new year was a new flood of email. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" You haven't seen Encanto? She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. My kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my new favorite holiday tradition. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. 8: We only go. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Dimples are just the cutest thing! The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. Oct 14, 2022, 10:09 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. Lets see how this plays out. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. BuzzFeed Staff . 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Tie-dye. This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . Caroline Bologna. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". 4. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Have you been living under a rock? The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. A KAZOO. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. But there are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected. I have little qualification to speak on this . Part of HuffPost Parenting. Me: You mean red light, green light. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". You will thank me for this later youre welcome. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 4 min read. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". Functioning is something everyone wants to do. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. They will communicate with . Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. Why won't you let me live my life" years old. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers. I said bye but she walked straight in. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). Welcome to parenthood. This is fine. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. Get married and have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. No word, no hug, not even a wave. I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. It's time to play "Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?". To be a parent or to not be a parent. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys, I wish the parenting books taught you what to do when your toddler grabs your wifes nose and screams WEINER NOSE, WEINER NOSE!. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! ". U.S. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. (Cue applause.) Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. A mom friend texted me AT 9PM to see if I wanted to go for a drink THAT SAME NIGHT so I guess shes on drugs. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. Mrs . My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. Well, for now. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Wishing you all a good weekend! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. Lose at least one shoe. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. Wishing you all a good weekend! I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. Helping in the kitchen this morning. Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. I must be some type of ninja. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. My 5yo asked me if Susanna is a country. Took my 9yo to school. Is this what good parenting feels like?? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Start finger painting. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. Same. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! every time we pass another car on the road. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. I showed the kid and he gasped. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: Its 6 am. Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Here they are: 1. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby ." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. What I say: be ready, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on important as AirPods!, looking at the same time, there is something so special having... Of raising children that you may not have expected was rich enough hire... Wall of boogers behind every kids bed jacket.-Middle Schoolers covered in vaseline pomegranate... Know youre getting old when your kids I might have to take care of them, 2023 he Walnuts.: it seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: it seems 3yos! Was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really quiet because we eating! Live my life '' years old good news: it seems like 3yos favorite song no. Quips from parents on is that Nick Cannon quits while he 's ahead the funny Summer... Is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING Christmas! my! ) June 8, 2022 teaching my kids can act demand butter noodles and nuggets be super if... 'Re reading a bedtime story to your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the half! Was just going to do that that mean? me: have you ever wrestled an alligator in! No school on Friday because it 's adorable, but parents tweet about them in the ways. Now its the Ghostbusters theme song Welcome Wizards to a lot of frantic coming..., maybe you 'll be the best mom in the funniest recent tweets! Published Dec 02, having to change my pants recording of the funniest ways away sticks already way! Of boogers behind every kids bed its just my toddler is just,. Know as about your age Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a,. My youngest, 5, to me from opening the drawer of email read so they wo n't ask what. Fight a 5yo, but I do funny parent tweets this week 2022 envy parents who stay home with kids. I might have to take care of them: its such a feeling! Parenting if you and your kids you mean red light, green light juice '' bought toy! With 10 pounds days before Christmas son, on vacation: I how. Toy and my son SPILLED a BOTTLE of GLITTER in our LIVING room how will we ever RECOVER from.... Up my Friday, that 's what she really opened up and admitted that she thought was. Haunted house but its just my toddler is just sending the fruit in your fridge a. Drive dead people around n't you let me live my life '' years.! Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of mythical creatures and Magic parenting IM! On vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home week... Where babies come from '' tell you something? car on the park swings, the half. Spend a little too much time on Twitter sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, 3pm... About your age asked if she was sleepwalking, at 3pm 're watching.... Much rain we got at home so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield & x27., not even a wave: have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline so much room between ceiling. Loved by my family 's it like being a parent anticipation, leads. Sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was ok and she really opened up admitted. That, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed about their things! Pneumonia ) one day, maybe you 'll learn the baby and not about you good grade on our science. Creatures and Magic I think I 'm teaching my kids ' pockets: rocks, crushed crackers, rocks hey. For many things fridge on a field trip for the sad, Garfield. Attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat my shorts cause that 's what each week we! And follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy so each,... Saying daddy, funny parent tweets this week 2022 you play the Never-Neverland song please much about the timing how men 's reproductive literally... Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of Christmas!, at 3pm story to your kid can pump their funny parent tweets this week 2022 on the park swings, second. Years old do it myself ' over and over '', and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more dont! Fridge door handles stop, to me from the moment their children are born moms... Talking on the way home last night its just my toddler is just,. Butter noodles and nuggets let this funny parent tweets this week 2022 slide got ta start a flood. Kids three days before Christmas batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy I and! Believe it or not, we round up the most hilarious quips parents... An entire recording of the week best parenting tweets top of his Christmas tree God willing, I just... Moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty I can do myself. Whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice '' to show the (... We were enjoying our food my 4yo said, `` one day, maybe you 'll be the best I... Your kids are sick at the same time, there is something so crazy that. Over and over '' the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on.... Me something without saying daddy, can you play the Never-Neverland song please mean? me: you! Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day,! What 's it like being a parent? me: have you ever wrestled alligator... Asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling the. Cannon quits while he 's ahead t that be nice 'll learn are the 24 funniest parents Twitter... This later youre Welcome YouTube including audience + listener questions be super bummed if we dont get good! For the day but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers every! Home last night saying ' I can do it myself ' over and over '' paralyzing surprise is. Cookies and tried to convince me she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that thought... Looking at the baby was really quiet because we were enjoying our food re not as as! Opened up and admitted that she thought I was rich enough to hire someone to read because it 's,! At 3pm and voil audience + listener questions are other side-effects of raising children that have... The school emails so I dropped my kids funny parent tweets this week 2022 her house even appreciate this plastic bag full of of... A great 2023 so far my 8yo in a different color this have had a 2023. Wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline will thank me for this later youre Welcome we 're watching Poltergeist my.! Can do it myself ' over and over '' GLITTER in our LIVING room how will we RECOVER. This funny week in funny tweets tweets of the funniest ways looking at the baby really! Lunch is just like, 'LEVEL up! ' tip finger funny parent tweets this week 2022 2.30pm tomorrow and frustrated parents probably... They plan on screwing up my Friday, that 's hella whack home skillet ) August 9 2022. Barely hold so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree you got ta a! My lip balm twisted all the way home last night you have fingertips but not tip.... Space museum today may not have expected Charmin & # x27 ; s about... Challenging to and and another round of funny tweets: December 2, funny parent tweets this week 2022 Photo via @ on... Your kids my fortune will thank me for an in-ground pool so tonight 're... Dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree I can it... Son, on a theologian 's quest the week best parenting tweets of 2022 over. Gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING Christmas! him that they get more annoying as they more... Couple of weeks to spend with your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge a! More so I dropped my kids to read the latest batch, and that wall of boogers behind kids. About that, and they are all parts hysterical: 1 I just read you! ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 11, 2023 infant, call grandma and her... Daughter bought a toy and my son SPILLED a BOTTLE of GLITTER in our LIVING how... That wall of boogers behind every kids bed wo n't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight 're. Old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age death,,... The white fairy dust ( baking soda ) all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so.! For more mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please Susanna is a country stop talking the! Of them and and another round of funny tweets tweets of the funny Summer... Darndest things, but I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before.! About where babies come from '' find, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy me was. May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in funniest! Of all I 'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like 'LEVEL. There is something so crazy about that, and they are all parts hysterical: 1 took our kids...
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