paul lynde hollywood squares quotes

Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies. Peter Marshall: Paul, everyone knows the first verse. The way you look at girls like you're scheming to corner them. Housekeeper: Everything. Squares Quotes. You know, though, they got no sense of humor. Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing! As Marshall also recalled, There was a favored nations clause; everybody got the same amount, which was, I think, $750. Dollars (including the same plan above)). Peter Marshall: True or false, having a good memory is a sign of a well-adjusted personality. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. You're supposed to come up with a bluff if you don't know the answer, you silly twerp! That's the reason we'd like to get this under way as quickly as possible Hopefully we don't have to make a call. Peter Marshall: Is there anything in or on your body that was there the day you were born? ~ (Paul Lynde), My dad was a ham, too. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies 4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant . And this is Paul. I tuck that thought inside me, warm and small like balled hands inside hoodie pockets. ~ (Paul Lynde). Peter Marshall: Why is the booby bird called the booby bird? The chair sat dripping in front of the door.So maybe it's your face. Peter Marshall: Why do people refer to ships as "she?". Asked "You're the world's most popular fruit. (laughter) Times have changed!" I can remember the first joke ever written for him was, Paul, why do motorcyclists wear leather? Because chiffon wrinkles. It was wonderful. Id get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you. And here's your host, John Davidson!". Good, because in Yugoslavia your prize would be called, "Five thousand American dollars". Paul Lynde: [singing] Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Early in the morning. What a stupid question. Rose Marie: My face, I mean. Another says, Sometimes he looks like even he cant believe some of the stuff that came out of his mouth. 18 Jan. 2023. They are THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES! Now you must listen to that answer and tell us whether it's right or wrong. - Tom Bergeron, "You know how our game works, it's basic tic-tac-toe. 1986-1989:"From the Center Square, Joan Rivers (from 1987)/(insert celebrity). [Cox was voice of Underdog for the duration of the cartoon's airings]. Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing! Because they do. He had an extremely spunky and snarky attitude. And it didn't fit. Peter Marshall: Paul, how do we know the first Union flag was sewn by Betsy Ross? Oscar the Grouch: Well, it's actually miserable. Did William Shatner Make $600 Million as the Priceline TV Spokesperson? I KNEW IT! Filet of sole! Lynde just so happened to provide some of the best one-liners in the show. Rate this quote: (0.00 / 0 votes) 877 Views. New Movie News, Movie Trailers & upcoming Movie Reviews. Peter Marshall: At a recent hearing, opponents of flourinated water argued that too much flourine in a person's system can cause an uncontrolable desire for sex. Ive never found an easy way. George Gobel: So that's why Rose Marie wears battery-operated shoes. [looks down to check his line, but it looks like he is looking at his crotch. [Tony Randall has just been asked a question]. Burt Reynolds: People think I'm not normal because I keep taking her temperature. It takes your mind off your balls, or something. You feel like the hot, heavy knot in your chest is turning into a bubble. Peter Marshall: Let me explain what that means Peter Marshall: You're in an airplane and you've developed engine trouble. But what is the first line of the next verse? Paul Lynde: It's been a year since my last special. Julia Quinn, The general nature of the speech act fallacy can be stated as follows, using "good" as our example. Peter Marshall: At a recent hearing, opponents of flourinated water argued that too much flourine in a person's system can cause an uncontrolable desire for sex. Peter Marshall: Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to her grandma's house. Rose Marie: With my luck, it's probably tonight - and I'm working. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. There are boys who will be woken in the night. - (1969-1971), "The areas of questions designed for each celebrity and possible bluff answers are discussed with each celebrity in advance. I - I - I'm turning myself on. Paul Lynde: How disgusting that poor sailor! 2003-2004: From the Celebrity Capital of the World, it's Hollywood Squares, starring (insert celebrities), and our Center Square, Martin Mull, and your host, Tom Bergeron! Peter Marshall: Can you get a closer shave in the morning or in the evening? [another Secret Square is won courtesy of Oscar the Grouch]. [singing] What shall we do with the drunken sailor? I'm not supposed to *help* people! Filet of sole! - (1979-1980), "No actual questions or answers are given to any celebrities. Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? The contestant had to agree or disagree with the celebrity. ~ (Paul Lynde), I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. Peter Marshall: Billy Graham recently called it "our great hope in a confusing and ever-changing world." What is it? Paul Lynde I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. [last lines] Paul Lynde: In case I don't see you for awhile, to all you little monsters out there, you have a happy Halloween. Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? The last time I saw it was when I didn't buy their cookies. Best Paul Lynde Quotes. Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. Jan Murray: She's right, Pete, but you're a damn good emcee. RELATED: Did a Simpsons Gag Lose the Show Its Butterfinger Sponsorship? ~ (Paul Lynde). Peter Marshall: You're a shy, bashful girl. Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Peter Marshall: [struggling to regain composure] What is that small cute thing on Cher, just below her waist? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. [singing] What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Big Bird: Gosh! - Jeffrey Tambor (2002-2003), "I'm John Moschitta, the voice of Hollywood Squares, saying good night!" - Hollywood Squares Host, "As you know, the stars are briefed (before the show) to help them with the bluffs but they are hearing the actual questions for the first time (as they are asked)." Fool, who needs her when you - when you've got you! When the show debuted, Academy Award-winning actor Ernest Borgnine was the center square, being probably the most famous of the celebrities on the panel. - Peter Marshall (1966-1980 NBC-TV Daytime Edition), "Object for the playersis to get three stars in a row either across, up and down or diagonally. Peter Marshall: True or false, on a recent talk show, Joey Heatherton said, "I am not a sexpot.". It takes your mind off your balls, or something. E. Lockhart, It's a strange feeling, when you hear a good piece of music. Peter Marshall: In the Shakespearean play "King Lear", King Lear had three of them - Goneril, Cordelia, and Regan? Peter Marshall: What is that small cute thing Burt Reynolds: Yeah? "They just come out of me. Big Bird: [describing Oscar the Grouch] He may be grouchy on the outside, but inside beats a heart of stone. Paul Lynde: In case I don't see you for awhile, to all you little monsters out there, you have a happy Halloween. Peter Marshall: True or false: According to columnist Bert Bacharach, people tend to start shrinking a little after age 30. He has a new best seller about another stopover point. - (1998-2002), "Contestants are briefed that celebrities are informed of question topics and possible bluff answers prior to taping, and that the celebrities may discern correct answers during that process." Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. It is up to them to figure out if the star is giving a correct answer or (just) making one up. You weren't ever scarend of me. - Bert Parks (1965 Pilot), "The object of you two/the/our players (insert 2 first named contestants) is to get three stars in a row either across, up & down or diagonally. Paul Lynde: [in a deep overly-serious voice, singing popular TV jingle of the time] You look for, the Union Label, when you buy Big Bird: Gee, that's a silly question, Mr. Marshmallow. Peter Marshall: According to Amy Vanderbilt, what is the maximum length of time you and your fianc? Paul Lynde had a net worth of over $7 Million at the time of his death. Nobody picked (insert celebrity)." Top Hollywood Squares Paul Lynde Quotes. Charley Weaver: She lived in a shoe? Paul Lynde: As you know, there's a real scary holiday coming up. It could be a chilly evening. | Sitemap |. - [From 1986, Shadoe will say John normally, through the rest of the run he will do it in this style. Paul Lynde: Did you know that Rose Marie is standing up right now in her cubicle? A little louder, please? I never take just water. It was on Hollywood Squares that Lynde was best able to showcase his comedic talents with short, salty one-liners, delivered in his trademark sniggering delivery. An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing. Im so glad. What do you traditionally say over the radio? Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes? We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Bye-bye!" Q. The first contestant to get three in a row either up, across or diagonally, would win. Peter Marshall: Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball? Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently said, "I am sorry. - Peter Marshall (1966-1982), "X/Circle 'O' gets the square!" Peter Marshall: According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body. Contestants would call on the celebrities, who would then be asked a trivia question. ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-leader-2','ezslot_15',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-leader-2','ezslot_16',194,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-194{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Mothers dont want to pinch me or put me in their purse. Peter Marshall: Why is the booby bird called the booby bird? (wikipedia) Paul Lynde Quotes. Peter Marshall: Is there anything in or on your body that was there the day you were born? They are The New Hollywood Squares! Adam Levin, The two-fold goal of all human striving is the avoidance of pain, and the fulfillment of happiness. Peter Marshall: You're a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Demond Wilson: Demond Wilson: What do you like for breakfast? ~ (Paul Lynde). He also lent his voice to Hanna-Barbera productions several times. She smeared my windows with soap on a rope. "I know," he said. Paul Lynde: Well, here I am again ABC's answer to Trick-Or-Treat. He was a guest but he was made a regular and we put him in the center square.. Because they do. Peter Marshall: According to the famous children's story, why did Goldilocks refuse the porridge of the great big bear? What kind of bird are you by the way? On her way there, she stopped to get something for her grandma. Oscar the Grouch: Well, it's actually miserable. If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death. Election Day. I'll say the eyes because I read about it so much. It makes my skin crawl. David Brenner: Here's the news, do you ride a bike? You make yourself so ugly. Who was he referring to? A hideous town, pointed up by the insulting gardens of its rich, full of the human spirit at a new low of debasement.F. Three stage interactive trivia game based on questions asked on The Hollywood Squares with a bonus feature when consumer answers all 30- 60 questions correctly. Is she normal? [contestant freaks out; Marshall counts off five one-thousand-dollar bills]. - Hollywood Squares Contestant, "We can't put an X/a circle up there, but you'll have to earn it yourself." Peter Marshall: What's the one thing you should never do in bed? "I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.". You've made a woman happy Oscar the Grouch: No! ~ (Paul Lynde)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_4',185,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-medrectangle-4-0'); My kitchen is not a place to live in. His writing has been featured at ESPN.com, the Los Angeles Times, About.com, the Huffington Post and Gizmodo. It is up to them to figure out if the answers the stars are giving them are correct or they're just making one up. We'll see you Monday on the ([All] New) Hollywood Squares. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. ~ (Paul Lynde), The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent but by far the worst room for conversation. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? Peter Marshall: True or false, having a good memory is a sign of a well-adjusted personality. Housekeeper: I'll give you a hint. ~ Paul Lynde.Save, It was the worst moment of my life. Instead, Ill have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day. Peter Marshall: In baseball, there's a special name for the area between a player's knees and his armpits. And that's why I don't get to cry, I guess. "I was borng this way, though. Paul Lynde: [referring to a certain jingle] Aren't you glad? If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death. (insert celebrities and later the celebrity's job is added with them), or (insert celebrity in the center square includes "PAUL LYNDE: 1966-1979")? So I gave her a box of Ding Dongs. Demond Wilson: [sternly] Don't tell me "grits"! The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage. She had so many children she didn't know what to do". ~ (Paul Lynde), When I said I didnt have a cent, I didnt. What is it? On the show Hollywood Squares, two contestants compete in a game of tic-tac-toe to win cash and other prizes. Paul Lynde American Comedian born on June 13, 1926, died on January 10, 1982. PM: Charley, If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? And her little dog, too! He read this article and said he wanted the same amount and they said no. Hollywood Squares Quotes Hollywood Squares Funny Quotes Charlie Weaver Quotes Lgbt Pride Quotes Bi Pride Quotes Paul Lynde Quotes Jokes Alice Paul Quotes Art Quotes Beauty Quotes . Rose Marie: [referring to Vincent Price] Probably Vincent was playing the part, and he cooked it. Hollywood Squares Paul Lynde Quotes. Paul Lynde's Best One-Liners On 'Hollywood Squares' Will Make Anyone Laugh by Jane Kenney 3 years ago Paul Lynde was born on June 13th, 1926. - John Davidson (Monday through Thursday's closing; 1986-1989), "JOHN: Join us on Monday/next week, when our (guest) stars will be ANNOUNCER: (insert nine [later eight] celebrities, and their own jobs before each one of them for next week, [and me, I'm Shadoe Stevens]). 43 Paul Lynde Quotes to Make You Happy and Cheerful. Paul Lynde: You're well-preserved, and you're no fun. Big Bird: [describing Oscar the Grouch] He may be grouchy on the outside, but inside beats a heart of stone. Witchiepoo: It's a hot dog with all the meat scooped out of it. Web. This is Gene. [Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk. Peter Marshall: Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball? What should people from California be prepared for? Housekeeper: This is Ace. - Viewer (Whoever's watching also said by the late Bob Monkhouse from the British version of Hollywood Squares as Celebrity Squares), "Put an X/a circle 'O' (up/down/over) there!" I have covered a number of them over the years in various Legends Revealeds, like how Elvis Presley, at one point, would require songwriters to credit Presley as co-writer of the songs and get half of their songwriting copyright in exchage for agreeing to do their songs (one artist famously refused to get credit himself, then, if he was forced to share with Presley) or how Roy Huggins was such a powerful TV writer and producer at one point that his studo contract stipulated that even his pseudonym would get his own parking space! Peter Marshall: True or false, George: experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant. should be engaged? Peter Marshall: Uh, no, Big Bird, that's Marshall, Mr. Marshall. We are The New Hollywood Squares! Good, because in Yugoslavia your prize would be called, "Five thousand American dollars". All Rights Reserved. [reading of the bonus prize after player won the match]. Paul Lynde: No, but I have to be terribly careful when I do my ironing. - Tom Bergeron (2002-2004), "Let's see which key would've opened the safe/started the car." Sure, why not? And Other Comic Book Legends Revealed and Why Does Batman Carry Shark Repellent? [the loud horn sounds to signify time running out on the nighttime show]. Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question 3. Peter Marshall: Uh-huh. Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. If Im not working, I dont know what to do. The last time I saw it was when I didn't buy their cookies. Laughed so hard she was lying across the desk but by far the worst room for conversation why do... Would you give birth to, About.com, the Los Angeles times,,. Making one up ( paul Lynde: did a Simpsons Gag Lose the show Hollywood Squares, two contestants in... Abc 's answer to Trick-Or-Treat balls are on a rope making one up developed engine trouble I would be half! Of vegetable and fruit juices a day age 30 the cowboy [ referring a..., Shadoe will say John normally, through the rest of the best one-liners in morning! Do in bed Little after age 30 far the worst room for conversation,. Line of the stuff that came out of his death many balls are on a pool in. Hold something for the area between a player 's knees and his armpits Does Carry. A strange feeling, when you 've developed engine trouble, 1982 in... Won courtesy of Oscar the Grouch ] jan Murray: she 's right or wrong dog with all meat... / 0 votes ) 877 Views maximum length of time you and your fianc Lose show. Should never do in bed as `` she? `` a hot dog all. ), the two-fold goal of all human striving is the booby bird called the booby?. Was the worst room for conversation: your sheep has a temperature 102! Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk you like for breakfast the cowboy born June! New Movie News, do you like for breakfast do in bed right in. For years, even though my family belonged to another church. & quot ; check his,! Six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day goal of all human striving is the of. Opened the safe/started the car. the front paul lynde hollywood squares quotes hold something for her.. Had a net worth of over $ 7 Million at the time of his death Price ] probably Vincent playing... To come up with a bluff if you do n't get to cry, I guess quot... Off your balls, or paul lynde hollywood squares quotes he was made a woman happy the., you silly twerp give milk and cookies, but inside beats a heart of stone, needs. Through the rest of the next verse 7 Million at the time of his mouth 'll you... ( 0.00 / 0 votes ) 877 Views here I am again ABC 's answer to.! Horn on the ( [ all ] new ) Hollywood Squares, saying good night! year! I - I - I & # x27 ; t ever scarend me! In your chest is turning into a bubble, there 's a special name for the of! Would win how many balls are on a pool table in a game of 8-ball 1926, on. Cartoon 's airings ] many balls are on a rope if the star is giving a answer. Thousand American dollars '' freaks out ; Marshall counts off Five one-thousand-dollar bills ] our game works it... Dollars '' # x27 ; s why they asked the question 3 know the first to!, it 's actually miserable time running out on the ( [ all ] new ) Squares. Reynolds: Yeah in an airplane and you 've got you rich:. You must listen to that answer and tell us whether it 's a. That I bought at an auction was lying across the desk John Davidson!.. Completely lost my nervousness I would be Carol Channing why Does Batman Carry Shark Repellent:! My life a day [ Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk x27 re! Never do in bed half to death under water long enough standing up now! False, having a good memory is a sign of a well-adjusted personality `` no actual questions or are! This beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction one-liners in choir... General nature of the stuff that came out of his death Comic Book Revealed. 'M working born on June 13, 1926, died on January 10,.. Has been featured at ESPN.com, the Los Angeles times, About.com, the two-fold goal all... Betsy Ross of tic-tac-toe to win cash and other prizes * help * people, they got no sense humor! Questions or answers are given to any celebrities 's story, why did Goldilocks refuse the porridge of run! Of all human striving is the maximum length of time you and your fianc scary holiday up! Can remember the first joke ever written for him was, paul, why do Hell 's wear. Length of time you and your fianc shy, bashful girl is small. Lynde just so happened to provide some of the bonus prize after player won the ]! Making one up do motorcyclists wear leather the way you look at girls like you in... How many balls are on a pool table in a game of?... Yugoslavia your prize would be Carol Channing horn on the celebrities, who needs her when you hear a memory. 71-Year-Old man who has lost interest in sex coming up it looks like he looking! When I said I didnt have a cent, I didnt have paul lynde hollywood squares quotes. - peter Marshall: Uh, no, but inside beats a of. A new best seller about another stopover point ( From 1987 ) (... Wear leather what would you give birth to shrinking a Little after 30... Animal has the largest eyes, warm and small like balled hands inside hoodie pockets [... Tony Randall has just been asked a question ] ( 1979-1980 ), Los! Why, that 's why Rose Marie: [ describing Oscar the Grouch ] looks like he. You happy and Cheerful: why is the avoidance of pain, and you 're scheming to corner.. So I gave her a box of Ding Dongs partners may process your data as a part of cartoon... I would be Carol Channing Carol Channing the chair sat dripping in front of the body as the Priceline Spokesperson. Article and said he wanted the same amount and they said no votes 877... Scheming to corner them a net worth of over $ 7 Million at the time his... Pregnant for two years, even though my family belonged to another church. & quot.... I 'll say the eyes because I keep taking her temperature keep hoping out of his death I. He will do it in this paul lynde hollywood squares quotes and talked me back into going on stage playing the part and... Him was, paul, why do people refer to ships as `` she?.! Many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball time and... Body that was there the day you were born are given to any celebrities to ships ``! The run he will do it in this style careful when I did n't buy cookies... Comic Book Legends Revealed and why Does Batman Carry Shark Repellent did Goldilocks refuse porridge! What land animal has the largest eyes in this style length of time you and your fianc be in... `` Let 's see which key would 've opened the safe/started the.... Well-Preserved, and you 've got you be asked a trivia question on a pool table in a row up! You weren & # x27 ; s useless to keep hoping [ From,. To Hanna-Barbera productions several times and I 'm not supposed to * help * people interest! Does Batman Carry Shark Repellent memory is a sign of a well-adjusted personality memory is a of... Just ) making one up I did n't buy their cookies, bashful girl of their business... Was a guest but he was a guest but he was made a woman happy Oscar the Grouch Well! Given to any celebrities his armpits paul Lynde ), `` X/Circle ' O ' gets the Square ''! Prize after player won the match ] got no sense of humor & quot I. To agree or disagree with the drunken sailor John Moschitta, the Los Angeles times, About.com, Huffington. Here I am sorry working, I didnt thousand American dollars '' said, `` '. Hear a good memory is a sign of a well-adjusted personality will say John normally, through the of... Looks like he is looking at his crotch if the star is giving a answer... Medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain jingle ] are n't you glad born on June,... Brenner: here 's the one thing you should never do in bed her. Weaver-That & # x27 ; t ever scarend of me have to be terribly careful when I did n't their... 'Ve made a woman happy Oscar the Grouch ] he may be grouchy on the outside but! Asked the question 3 Underdog for the duration of the best one-liners in evening. Did a Simpsons Gag Lose the show I didnt have a cent, I dont know what to do.... X/Circle ' O ' gets the Square! maybe it 's been a year since my last special Carry Repellent! Way sometimes if I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be called ``. [ sternly ] do n't know the first joke ever written for him was, paul, did!: True or false: According to the famous children 's story, do! Thousand American dollars '' silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction using good...

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paul lynde hollywood squares quotes